Spike Milligan - dark, sad, funny

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.


And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.



Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to wear ear plugs?


Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.


His vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum.


How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.


I can speak Esperanto like a native.


I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.


I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.



                                                         

                                                                                 


Spike Milligan - Indian born Irish comedian and writer. Born 1918. Died 2002.  


Source:  
Brainyquotes.com  
Image - jooce.org.uk